Hi, there! It’s been awhile. I actually just had to go to my own website and click on my last post to see just how long it’s been. January, whoa! Well, here I am again….and I have some thoughts on motherhood and why I’m trying to remember that simple is special. This is a long one, so bare with me. I swear I have a point…

The other day (actually several weeks ago because it took me forever to circle back to this post) Thomas and I went on a date to the movies, just us two. It’s amazing how his behavior shifted when all of the attention was solely on him. He asked questions, pointed out things that interested him, and we had conversations. I was totally focused on just him. And then it happened. He lifted up his sugary blue slushy and said “Cheers to a great day and you’re a good Mom.” CUE THE TEARS.

I couldn’t help it. I smiled, but the tears came anyway. The look on his face was pure confusion. He moved close to me and apologized for making me sad. Then we had the discussion about happy tears and sad tears, because this little four year old is a sponge to every single thing I do, all day long. Every day I am in awe of the things he grasps. But it is also terrifying.

Thomas and I on our movie date.  

When people ask how I’m doing, I often tell them that I am drowning. Half of that answer is humor and the other half is truth. Because we are drowning; in so many things… Toddler meltdowns and four year old tantrums-the worst kind you can imagine. Potty training and trying to master a consistent bedtime routine. Endless piles of laundry and “too small” clothes that need organizing. Cleaning up approximately 25 times a day, sometimes the same bin of toys up to five different times. I find myself overwhelmed with planning meals, getting two kids bathed, dressed and teeth brushed every morning. BUT. I’m also drowning in LOVE. Because I’m raising these little humans the best I know how, and at the end of day, they make me feel so proud, and so loved.

It’s an incredible amount of pressure to think that every move you make is being observed, and possibly shaping your little human. It’s also an incredible amount of pressure to be a “fun” mom, while still being a “good” mom. A couple weeks ago, we did an impromptu overnight in Denver and I had a whole day of fun activities planned. Firefighters museum in the morning, lunch at the park, and then a trip to the zoo to meet my cousin and sweet baby girl. I even thought I might be able to sneak in a trip to the mall in the afternoon. HA!

I called Andy after our first stop and told him we were on our way home. He asked why, sensing the frustration in my voice, and I told him our kids were monsters. They aren’t really. Perhaps I just expect too much from them in my attempt to be a “fun” mom. Andy’s response, “You know, you probably could have just taken them to the park and they would have been just as happy.” I was quiet and could feel my eyes glossing over. He was right. Why didn’t I think of that?

The beginning of our “Denver Day” gone wrong. I should have known… 😉

I always want to make everything feel special for my kids and admittedly, I try to do too much…in all aspects of my life. Usually I can manage it. But with kids, it’s different. Like thinking I had to take the kids to five million different attractions in order for them to have a “fun Denver day.” Or believing that our home days should be filled with pre-planned activities when really all they want to do is sit on the ground and play with their toys.

SIMPLE IS SPECIAL. It really is. And I’m learning it more and more every day. I’m not stating anything mind blowing here, but sometimes we all need a little reminder. { Thanks, Andy <3 } And being the busiest, activity-filled mom, isn’t the key to happiness. Sure, a fun outing and adventure day should still make the agenda. But not because you feel like you have to do it to be a good mom.

Over time, I convinced myself of the idea that I needed to be on the go all the time, constantly doing things with our kids in order for their childhood to be fun and filled with great memories. Have a picnic in the backyard. Play with pots and pans. Go the park. Collect leaves. Go puddle jumping after a rain storm. Play dress up. Color on boxes. Build forts. Because simple is just as special, and just as fun.

HAPPY SUMMER, friends!!! I hope your days are filled with lots of really fun, special moments. XOXO, KM