I have two confessions to make; I’ve been purposely ignoring putting up a blog post! I promised myself {and my husband} when I started that I would not let this space be another daunting item on my to do list and the past two weeks have been filled with so much that I just haven’t had time. So instead of staying up late, waking up early, and stressing out about it- I’ve just simply pushed it aside. Good thing it’s just for fun, right? 

My next confession; I was a bad mom Sunday night. I let Thomas stay up with me way past his bedtime. He was all snuggly, eating whole apples right down to the core for the first time and it was so adorable I couldn’t interrupt. Or maybe I secretly didn’t want to start the bedtime battle and thought if I let him lay there long enough he would just fall asleep {aka parental laziness}. Of course I paid for it the next day when he woke up at the same early hour despite going to bed a few hours later, which meant he took an epically long nap making bedtime ever harder. But you know what, it was worth it. I got to relax a little while spending some extra snuggle time with my little guy. And you know what, I’ll probably do it again sometime. 

I thought about the fly on the wall moms who would frown upon my after 9pm bedtime, and it got me really thinking about how different we all are at parenting. Different styles and techniques to master the chaos, different rules and “I would never’s,” but guess what, not one of us is doing it the right way. There is no right way to parent. You simply do it your way, the way that works for you and your family, and that just has to be enough.

Having kids has completely changed my perspective on life. It has humbled me in an unbelievable way and continues to teach me so much about myself and handling the hardest situations. I’ve only been a mom for roughly three years, but it honestly feels like an eternity. I get asked all the time by friends, neighbors, or strangers how I do it and each time, I rack my brain to find the answer. I actually have no freaking idea, but I’m not the only one who does it. There are millions of moms out there doing the same thing. We just do, and it’s not always graceful. But at the end of the day if my kids are safe, happy and healthy, I’ll consider that a win.

A woman recently came to oversee some work being done to our house-right smack in the middle of lunchtime, awesome. She watched me go from one whiny kid to the next, picking up thrown food from the kitchen floor, praising a child who won’t stop eating and bribing a toddler who doesn’t even look at his food, much less eat it. I imagined what she was thinking, “this woman is absolutely crazy,” and I smirked a little because I totally am. I didn’t even try to explain myself and instead just kept going about my craziness. No matter how hard I try to make things less chaotic, the madness is just enhanced.

These are the days though, right? Embrace the madness you say? Easier said than done. I did however decide that sooner or later I should probably start answering the million dollar question. How do I do it anyway? Here are my five mom rules that help keep me sane these days.

1. Be nice. Being a mom is hard. And not just ‘you’re responsible for another living, breathing soul’ hard. Throw in taking caring of your own well being. Your friendships. Your career. It is no easy life. No mom has their shit together. And if they claim to, they are lying, and probably have their shit together less than you do. So just be nice to each other. Support each other.
2. Put down the books. Seriously. Give yourself permission to do what works and be okay with not completely changing your lifestyle every time a new study comes out. Chances are, something newer will evolve next year telling you to do the exact opposite. Do what you think is right-what makes sense for you and your family. The outcome isn’t going to be the same for everyone and that is okay. What makes sense to you might not make sense to me. I’m pretty sure no parenting book will tell you to let your three year old stay up late eating apples just because you think it’s cute. But you know what? My life is not a book and while these books are nice guidelines to refer to, that is all they are. Guidelines to help you, not run your life.
3. Try to get your kids sick. I bet that got your attention! I don’t really mean it, but the sooner you realize that your kids getting sick is inevitable, the better off you will be. Especially once they start school. I recently spent some time being really down on myself about our kids being in what seems like an endless sickness cycle. I felt like I was doing something so wrong. The fact of the matter is, kids are gross. They touch everything and then they put their dirty little hands in their mouth and up their nose. Wash their hands as much as you want, they will still get sick. Immune system builder, right?
4. Stop comparing. Your kids, your life, your pregnancy, your birth. Just stop it right now. In ten years is it really going to matter how old your kid was when they started walking, or how much weight you gained during your pregnancy? Every one is different and each situation is unique. Be happy with yours because it’s yours. You’ve probably spent a lot of time building this life you’re living, be proud of it. Comparison is the thief of joy, so just stop doing it.
5. Throw out the judgement. Whether you breastfeed or formula feed, stay at home or work in an office, feed your kids all organic or lucky charms and macaroni-your choices do not make you better than someone else. As if raising kids didn’t take enough out of you, throw yourself into an ocean of moms. Some really nice like tropical fish and others more like sharks. The ones who think just because they generalize their comment instead of directing it to you, that it’s acceptable to cast their unwarranted opinion on your tired, run down, already beaten-up self. Don’t be that mom. Be better. I’ll be the first to admit that I cannot put myself in a judgement free category, but I’ve been working really hard at trying to understand where people are coming from instead of immediately criticizing their decisions.

So, that’s my list! I know there are a ton of mom bosses out there going through the same thing. How do YOU do it?