Motherhood. It is hands down, the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my entire life. I’ve never felt more challenged, tired, tested, and absolutely defeated all at the same time. But I’ve also never felt a love like the love I get from being Thomas and Katherine’s mom. It is the most serious love/hate relationship I think I will ever have. Don’t get me wrong, I certainly don’t hate being a mom. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think about a giant spaceship coming down from the sky and scooping me up in to la-la land at least five times a day.
We all want to be the perfect parent. And it’s really hard in a world of social media not to constantly compare ourselves to all the other people doing it right. But I’m going to let you in on a not-so-little secret. No one, and I repeat no one, does it all right.
I stumbled across a “mom blog” post a few months ago and the message really stuck with me. The words are so relevant to one of the trivial challenges we face being moms in todays social media society.
I hope you know that behind every pretty picture is still a mess in the kitchen, piles of laundry to be folded & half a dozen unfinished projects that have been pushed to the side.
I hope you know that for every sweet & silly thing my kids do, they still fight, throw fits & drive me to my absolute breaking point.
I hope you know that behind every selfie, there is a frazzled, overtired mom with unwashed hair who has probably cursed too many times that day about another mess or lost shoe.
I hope you know that for every finished project, it doesn’t happen without stress, exhaustion & a few disagreements about how/what/why we are doing it. Selling our house & renovating a kitchen at the same time was one of the hardest things our marriage has ever gone through.
I hope you know that just because I parent one way, doesn’t mean that I think it’s the only way. I never, ever want anyone to feel less than after reading here. Whether you breastfeed or formula feed; stay at home or work in an office; feed your kids all organic or macaroni and hot dogs twice a week; no matter who you voted for or who you pray to; you are welcome here.
You can find the original post here. How true are these words? We get to choose what we portray to others and it doesn’t always accurately depict our life. Who wants to fill their feed with temper tantrums, dirty diapers, and an entire plate of uneaten food? Not me. Mostly because if any of the above is happening, taking a photo is the last thing on my mind. Except for this time…
This time I stopped everything I was doing to have a little laugh, and document the moment. Because in ten years, we will laugh at how upset he was that I wouldn’t let him take home the community garden hose.
I’ve changed over my three year journey as a mom. I’ve loosed up and cut myself some slack. But more than anything, I’ve tried to stop talking about all the things I do for my kids, and instead just do it.
Because believe it or not, constantly talking about your parenting choices, can sometimes make another parent feel judged. Especially in a world where we share so much. It didn’t occur to me until it started happening to me. “I would never do ______, or give my child ______.” Then you think wait I do, or did, that. Should I do that? Cue the mom guilt, and the second guessing and researching better ways. Ugh. So now I aim to speak less, and listen more.
To all of the moms out there, remember that at the end of the day, the love you have for your kids will always win. Trust that they will remember the good, even in your worst parenting moments. We are not superwomen, we are merely humans trying to do the best we can to raise good mini humans. And behind every picture perfect image you saw on Instagram today, know that there’s a real mom just trying to survive another day.
Happy Mother’s Day to every single woman out there who cares for a child in any way. They don’t have to be your own to be recognized for the love you give.
My favorite recent mom moments. Grainy and all, because…selfies. 🙂